It’s 8.15 and I’ve only just got home from work – working in sales means the last day of the month is make or break and we work til targets are hit or we die trying! Today I died trying…nuff said.
I’m starving and tired and weary and annoyed that I didn’t make running club. Especially as I won’t be going Thursday due to it being our 15th Anniversary (of our 1st date – I’m not THAT old!). I am also peed off because I weighed myself this morning and I’ve put on a pound. There is no reason for me to be surprised at this as I have been eating badly, but even so I am frustrated with myself – why can’t I get my head around this. Eat less – Move more. It’s not hard, not rocket science so why can’t I do it? Why? I’m not a stupid person, I know what’s good for me and I know I shouldn;t eat more than 1500 calories because If I do I won’t lose weight. So why do I still eat biscuits and cakes and sweeties???
I have been mulling this over a lot lately, and I think part of my problem is my life feel cluttered at the moment…too many jobs that need doing and too much stuff everywhere both physically and metaphorically. I have booked friday off work and I am going to clear my house room by room, getting rid of any clothes that don’t fit me, shoes I don’t wear, books I don’t want to keep and other accumulated crap. I am also planning on organising my photos and my jewellery box. This sounds a little wierd but when my wardrobes and drawers are disorganised, that’s how I feel. I’m not OCD or anything…I just lke stuff to be in it’s place….OK maybe a little OCD.
Also I am making a public commitment to get up and run before work tomorrow, and again on Wednesday morning and again on Friday morning. I am declaring this on here so I have accountability and all of you to answer to if I don’t…and it’s me telling myself I’m going to do it not someone else telling me so I will stick to it! Hope you have all had better days than me – still tomorrow is a new dawn, a new day, a fresh start…